His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
