Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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