Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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