just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
