sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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