what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
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