I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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