she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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