Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
His nipple licking is glorious
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