walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
