I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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