no, he came in my armpit
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
