I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
