those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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