I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
