people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
