yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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