your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
