im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
