i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize