miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
