You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
ttyl tear gas
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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