During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
