return my video game
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
