Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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