the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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