considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
