Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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