I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
