Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
