Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
