I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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