R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
