You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
bring money and cleavage
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Someone came in the potted fern
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
