So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
