lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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