She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she woke up with a sticky ear
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
