I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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