Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
