I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
