This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
