i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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