how can u be prego again
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
