discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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