Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
