hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
