C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
