beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
