Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
