I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
