Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
