he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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