I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
