Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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