i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
