In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize