I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
