He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
