Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
