Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
