I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
