I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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