the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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