When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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