I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
