yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
